Kadalkin Speaking

drinkthesoysauce: leechstrade: wwwwwwwwwwwww faction and fictionkin talk Read...

Wed, 06 Mar 2013 23:18:00 -0500

leechstrade:

wwwwwwwwwwwww faction and fictionkin talk

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Factionkin.

…..

No.

The word you are looking for is factive.

Maybe they’re talking about beings who identify as Horde or Alliance?

- K

I think this is something I need to say

Thu, 17 Jan 2013 13:46:35 -0500

watchful-entity:

kadalkin:

(And I’m not sure the rest of the folks up here agree with me on this - but this is how I feel.)

I don’t care if the only way you can understand me is to think that I am a role-play character. I don’t care if you’re simply unwilling to believe that I am anything else. That doesn’t really concern me; think what you want.

My issue, then, lies with the people who decide that we need to be made aware of these things they think about us. The people who make blogs making fun of us, who send anonymous (always anonymous) asks telling us, “You’re roleplaying! Get help!”

Do you go to blogs that say they’re roleplay blogs and tell the owners to get help?

No?

Then why say that to us, if you honestly think that we are?

Is there something wrong with roleplaying?

I don’t even think that it’s the “We reject the idea that we are roleplaying” thing, because there are actual RP blogs (whose owners acknowledge them as such elsewhere) who never break character and who claim to not be roleplaying - and nobody ever sends them hate like plural folks get.

I don’t think you actually believe that we’re roleplaying. I think that you’re just searching for ways to, as Nines put it, “Kick the Freaks”. And that’s why I think you’re assholes.

If someone is engaging in behavior that is harmful to other people, it is sensible to attempt to make them aware of this and to try to get them to stop, and it is also sensible to dislike them if they do not stop. However, if someone is doing something you don’t understand, or that seems weird or “stupid” to you, but they are not actually harming anyone - you really don’t need to tell them, “I think you’re stupid and weird.” That’s not helpful to anyone, and is often an actually harmful action (which, therefore, people are justified in trying to get you to stop doing, see how this works?).

- Mor

rpers usually aren’t claiming to have a discredited mental disorder that manifests itself as ~wacky roleplay logs~ 99% of the time, they also don’t encourage impressionable teenies to DELIBERATELY ENDUCE HALLUCINATIONS so they can talk to their ‘headmates’, also as far as i know rpers don’t claim to be psychic or travel astrally into other rpers brains, which might be why people treat multiples differently from rpers, ~the more you know~.

Okay, let’s examine that.

“rpers usually aren’t claiming to have a discredited mental disorder that manifests itself as ~wacky roleplay logs~ 99% of the time”

“Tumblr multiples” as we so often get called fall into one of two distinct camps: systems who don’t claim to have DID and systems who actually have DID. The vast majority of the latter folks are diagnosed, which is to say a mental health professional has examined and worked with them and believes they have DID.

The people who don’t claim to have DID are… not claiming to have DID, remarkably, so they don’t fall into this “reason”. The people who do have DID…have DID (and usually trolls spend most of their time claiming to be “defending” these folks from “Tumblr multiples”) and, as stated, are more often than not diagnosed with it so the level of “You’re faking” implied in this “reason” is moot.

(It’s also probably important to note that what gets posted on Tumblr is not the be-all of how a system’s plurality “manifests”, regardless of whether or not that system believes they have a mental disorder. We’ve talked about this before and had other systems chime in with agreement, we don’t talk about everything that goes on with us on Tumblr.)
“they also don’t encourage impressionable teenies to DELIBERATELY ENDUCE HALLUCINATIONS so they can talk to their ‘headmates’”

That actually sounds a hell of a lot more like the Tulpa crowd than the plural crowd, from what I’ve seen - and we’ve got enough issues with them. (Mainly that it seems like the shit they pull gets lumped in with plural stuff when we’re entirely different.)
“also as far as i know rpers don’t claim to be psychic or travel astrally into other rpers brains”

A lot of occult/pagan folks do, and they don’t get near the level of hate that we do either. Funny, that.

“which might be why people treat multiples differently from rpers”

Now that’s all well and good (except that it isn’t) but in fact doesn’t actually speak to my points… I was talking specifically about addressing us as role-play characters, not actual roleplayers (that’s quite different; nobody acts as though I am a roleplayer, they act as though I do not exist). There are several role-play character blogs whose characters do claim to have mental illnesses, and whose characters do claim to be psychic or other such things. (There are Magic the Gathering Planeswalker blogs. There’s an Ask An Ork [from Warhammer 40k] blog. Just as examples of “ridiculous characters”.)

It would’ve been nice if you had actually put this input into your reblogged post, however - this is in fact the kind of discussion I am looking to have, even if you misread or misunderstood my point.

- Mor

I think this is something I need to say

Tue, 15 Jan 2013 17:05:33 -0500

(And I’m not sure the rest of the folks up here agree with me on this - but this is how I feel.)

I don’t care if the only way you can understand me is to think that I am a role-play character. I don’t care if you’re simply unwilling to believe that I am anything else. That doesn’t really concern me; think what you want.

My issue, then, lies with the people who decide that we need to be made aware of these things they think about us. The people who make blogs making fun of us, who send anonymous (always anonymous) asks telling us, “You’re roleplaying! Get help!”

Do you go to blogs that say they’re roleplay blogs and tell the owners to get help?

No?

Then why say that to us, if you honestly think that we are?

Is there something wrong with roleplaying?

I don’t even think that it’s the “We reject the idea that we are roleplaying” thing, because there are actual RP blogs (whose owners acknowledge them as such elsewhere) who never break character and who claim to not be roleplaying - and nobody ever sends them hate like plural folks get.

I don’t think you actually believe that we’re roleplaying. I think that you’re just searching for ways to, as Nines put it, “Kick the Freaks”. And that’s why I think you’re assholes.

If someone is engaging in behavior that is harmful to other people, it is sensible to attempt to make them aware of this and to try to get them to stop, and it is also sensible to dislike them if they do not stop. However, if someone is doing something you don’t understand, or that seems weird or “stupid” to you, but they are not actually harming anyone - you really don’t need to tell them, “I think you’re stupid and weird.” That’s not helpful to anyone, and is often an actually harmful action (which, therefore, people are justified in trying to get you to stop doing, see how this works?).

- Mor

darziel: actualcatcastiel: I do not understand how having fictives in your system invalidates...

Wed, 09 Jan 2013 19:29:41 -0500

darziel:

actualcatcastiel:

I do not understand how having fictives in your system invalidates your status as a multiple.

I’ve been here for more than a year and I still understand nothing about this community.

“Because if we throw the people who look weird under a bus maybe they’ll treat us better!”

That’s it.

And nothing else.

No, we don’t think this is cool or cute. This is just how we are. This is just how our...

Mon, 07 Jan 2013 10:08:32 -0500

No, we don’t think this is cool or cute. This is just how we are. This is just how our existence manifests. The only way this would be insulting to “”“real sufferers”“” (:/) is if we were making it up and we are not.

(You seriously underestimate or ignore how some of us are fucking terrified literally all of the time. Just because we’re not DID doesn’t make it any less scary. One day I’ll finally talk about that, but… you won’t listen anyway.)

- Nines

Lives Intertwined: The DarkStar System: Lee: The idea that some people have that only certain types of...

Sun, 30 Dec 2012 16:58:32 -0500

Lives Intertwined: The DarkStar System: Lee: The idea that some people have that only certain types of...:

darkstarsystem:

Lee: The idea that some people have that only certain types of experiences should be blogged about and others shouldn’t be unless you’re willing to talk about how BAD AND AWFUL they are is ridiculous.

Example - I blog about being a rape survivor and how I’ve grown from that experience…

The part that gets me is, if we focus on the positives we’re faking because “REAL” plurality is SCARY and BAD, but if we talk about the negative stuff we’re faking and “trivializing REAL [abuse or whathaveyou, depending on what the negative stuff in question is]”.(I’ve seen people who talk about being raped and abused by headmates and how people respond to that - I do not in the least blame Nines for not wanting to talk about a lot of our past.) There is no possible way to be taken seriously by these people. When systems say “No, we don’t claim to have DID” they get told they’re trivializing it anyway, and when systems say “We’ve been diagnosed with DID” they get told that “oh well lots of doctors don’t even think that’s a real thing, so you’re just making shit up”. They don’t actually care about what is or isn’t harmful to neuroatypical people, they’re only in it because bullying people who are different is fun for them.

- Mor

you should seriously get yourself checked out for DID or something because roleplaying with yourself is really sad

Fri, 28 Dec 2012 12:20:17 -0500

We don’t fit the diagnostic criteria for DID.
Even if we did I’m not sure how you’d come to the conclusion that we’re roleplaying - or that roleplaying is the same as having DID or similar conditions. (That’s….really a huge leap of logic there.)
Nines has been attempting to seek therapy for what she calls “mystery-crazy” as well as her history of trauma for years; as a minor her parents dismissed her wishes, and since coming of age she has had neither the money nor the transportation to do so. You’re welcome to make a donation as to furthering this if you wish; simply contact us again and let us know and we’ll provide you with a method of helping out.

Thank you for your apparent concern, but we are fine.

- Mor

All the old men sit around reading the newspaper titters - Nines

Thu, 27 Dec 2012 15:30:33 -0500

All the old men sit around reading the newspaper

*titters*

- Nines

We’re meaning to write up something about what we consider the “darker” part of...

Sat, 22 Dec 2012 12:27:38 -0500

We’re meaning to write up something about what we consider the “darker” part of our history

At some point

When we actually have time

- Nines & Mor

“You’re faking this and I can tell because if it was real it would be scary for...

Fri, 21 Dec 2012 12:27:29 -0500

“You’re faking this and I can tell because if it was real it would be scary for you!”

[Nines] doesn’t talk about when things are scary in great detail - because they’re scary, and she’s trained her mind to run away from frightening things. So you people don’t see that it scares her, because you can only see what she (and we) chooses to tell.

I do not think she is unique in this.

Just a thought.

- Slade

We don’t really have “purposes”. I mean, some of the older guys do (which is kind...

Fri, 14 Dec 2012 10:03:46 -0500

We don’t really have “purposes”. I mean, some of the older guys do (which is kind of weird calling them that because I’m older than all of them, but I haven’t been here as long and that’s what that means), but most of us it’s just like…

[Other system listing members]: “So-n-so is the Protector, Sue-n-so is the Little, ThisOne’s the Sexual One, Thatn’s the Innocent One, Bob is the Dark Side…”

Me: I’m… uh… the Guy Who Kicked the Door In?

- K

It’s such a strange thing. Most of the people you call “fictives” have to fight in...

Thu, 13 Dec 2012 19:23:30 -0500

It’s such a strange thing.

Most of the people you call “fictives” have to fight in order to be recognized as who they say they are.

I have to fight in order to be recognized as someone else.

- Slade

So the past day or so my teeth have been ridiculously sharp Like a lot sharper than usual Like I cut...

Tue, 11 Dec 2012 22:54:14 -0500

So the past day or so my teeth have been ridiculously sharp

Like a lot sharper than usual

Like I cut the inside of my mouth on them and I don’t recall doing anything that would result in me cutting the inside of my mouth

And I’ve been all “What the fuck…?”

And then Mordred is all, “Well I’ve been [really close to the front] for that amount of time, probably it’s my fault? My teeth are pretty sharp.”

So I guess now our answer for “Do you notice physical changes wrt certain ‘mates?” is “Well yeah sometimes.”

So that’s interesting.

- Nines

shiyiya: kadalkin: “I used to be an atheist” is… a weird sentence for me to say. It’s true,...

Tue, 11 Dec 2012 08:46:49 -0500

shiyiya:

kadalkin:

“I used to be an atheist” is… a weird sentence for me to say. It’s true, although the “used to be” part depends on how you define a deity as opposed to any other nonspirit entity. But it just seems so strange.

- Mor

I also used to be an atheist and am kind of conceptually weirded out by that shift. Atheism isn’t really framed as something people move away from!

Yeah, exactly.

And as to your tags, yeah it’s sort of similar for me. Mine is a little more “Holy shit what the hell is that thing my sister is talking to… well I guess they exist, then?” But it’s mostly to do with the experiences of other people instead of my own, which sounds like where you’re coming from as well.

- Mor

“I used to be an atheist” is… a weird sentence for me to say. It’s true,...

Tue, 11 Dec 2012 06:38:05 -0500

“I used to be an atheist” is… a weird sentence for me to say. It’s true, although the “used to be” part depends on how you define a deity as opposed to any other nonspirit entity. But it just seems so strange.

- Mor

inconsequentialness: nines19: Okay I thought up a pretty good metaphor today about “out of...

Tue, 04 Dec 2012 20:27:02 -0500

inconsequentialness:

nines19:

Okay I thought up a pretty good metaphor today about “out of character” fictives

So there’s the Hellsing anime, right (specifically i think I’m talking Ultimate?)

And there’s the Hellsing Abridged parody

And both focus on Alucard

Now, the Abridge Alucard acts NOTHING like Ultimate Alucard, he is as you’d say “very OOC”

Buuut. He’s still Alucard. You wouldn’t say “That’s not Alucard”. He’s a different Alucard, yeah, way different, but he is Alucard. They both are.

I figure if you wanna logic fictives they basically work the same way.

*nod* But even more than that, people who think “OOC” fictives aren’t who they say they are, I guess I want to say to them, okay dude, let’s place you in the world of Avengers or Doctor Who or My Little Pony and you stay the same even though the entire world around you is very different.

Yes yep this this this.

I think I’ve talked before (…somewhere) about how being here as I am now has given me a whole new place in the world, marked most notably by my ability to choose my place in this world. I was a slave to fate in my “home”world. I prefer this much better, and the fact that I act “differently” here is, in my case, a direct result of my freedom and the happiness I know because of it.

Apparently I like drawing Mordred? (Apparently I’m bad at...

Fri, 30 Nov 2012 21:58:43 -0500

Apparently I like drawing Mordred?

(Apparently I’m bad at it, also.)

- Nines

Xa made my hair spikey at first. Spikey.

No, Nines. No.

- Mor

fictive problem

Fri, 30 Nov 2012 06:36:43 -0500

karkats-screaming-tentadick:

orange-is-in:

“thats not how you act in canon”

getting into the Slade part of our essay this should be interesting… “how do I begin to...

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 23:54:15 -0500

getting into the Slade part of our essay

this should be interesting…

“how do I begin to describe Slade Wilson…”

[insert Mean Girls references here]

- Nines

amorpha-system: secret-maybe: I made this tumblr to post this, because I don’t want my main one...

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 08:05:16 -0500

amorpha-system:

secret-maybe:

I made this tumblr to post this, because I don’t want my main one involved in this controversy. No matter what we say on the subject, someone will jump to some conclusion and we’ll be discredited somehow. This subject is like jalapeno peppers.

Anyway, on the subject of fictives…

I don’t understand why no one seems to think that if your brain is splitting off into personalities to protect you from something, it might choose the personalities of characters you know well from various books/shows/movies. Why is that so far-fetched? I get people being all, “OMG YOU THINK YOU’RE HARRY POTTER FROM ANOTHER UNIVERSE THAT’S SO DUMB” (even if I don’t agree with the sentiment), but wherever these people come from, even it is, in many people’s opinion, more likely to be a creation of the mind, they’re still people. Just like any other alter, they feel things individually, and that makes them real enough to me. People are often nice about alters when it’s “Little Sally who is five years old and likes unicorns,” but when it becomes “Little Draco who is five years old and likes snakes,” people pitch a fit. Huh?

So yeah, if someone says they have Harry Potter in their head, I’m going to say, “Hi, Harry.” And if he says he’s just gone through the loss of his godfather, I’m going to console him. Because you know what? Feelings. It’s all about feelings. If your brain created (or found, or whatever) a being to feel those feelings, I bet you needed it. Dissociative Identity Disorder is super weird — the brain can do remarkable things to itself. And non-diagnosed multiplicity is just as weird (and many of the same phenomena appear — you dissociate to let someone else front just as much anyone does). Just let it be, guys. Let people be who their brains tell them they are. Why is it such a huge and offensive thing?

You know, we actually saw some DID/MPD systems bringing up similar ideas 10-12 years ago. That if your plurality is a defense mechanism, part of that defense might consist in surrounding yourself with presences that felt powerful and protective. And from that point of view, having, say, dragons or angels in your system made perfect sense. Or specific fictional characters who filled that kind of a role for you, or whom you identified with for some other reason. (We’re on the fence about whether there’s one root cause for the existence of everyone in here, whether it’s neurology or what— there’s at least one of us, nonfictive, who thinks his existence was formed from trauma— but there was a definite phase of our life where we picked up some very specific types of fictive fronters, who all had very specific things in common. I guess the issue of whether they were separate existences who sought us out because of those characteristics, or our brain generating “reproductions” of them, is entirely a matter of belief, but their presences were… cathartic, I guess you could say, during that time.)

So yeah. We don’t get it either. If you start from the tenet that your brain is acting out of survival instinct, survival instinct is not always going to be neat and pretty and work in some perfect archetypal way and be able to pick and choose between which defenses are “too weird” for others’ comfort. It may just grab onto whatever images are closest at hand, and if your brain establishes a precedent for working this way, over a long period of time, you’ll probably still be doing this years down the road, even when the traumatic situations are behind you— looking around for concepts and images that can help you out.

This is really relevant to how I (and they) believe my first* headmates originated.

(Later ones we’re not sure about yet but we’re examining it.)

* “First” in this instance referring to the guys that have been here the longest. I’m not sure about anyone who may have been here before them and left, childhood was a very strange time and it’s difficult at that age to tell the difference between “normal” imaginary friends and actual headmates (if there is much of a difference at all).

- Nines